


Captain Nazi

by Sunsetsoul



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Domestic, Domestic Avengers, Fluff, Humour, Multi, Parody, Steve low key trying to hide hes a nazi, buckyslushhair, slamming my head against the fucking desk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-05-26
Packaged: 2018-07-10 10:50:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6981337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunsetsoul/pseuds/Sunsetsoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Found out Steve's a Nazi.<br/>Good lord give me strength.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Captain Nazi

**Author's Note:**

  * For [20gayteen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/20gayteen/gifts).



> Didn't know whether to put in 'major character death' in as a warning because that's what they're slowly doing to Steve's character arc.

The Stark tower was uncharacteristically quiet as Steve stood hunched over the cooker, making an omelet because he was hungry. He had just spent another pleasant morning reading the next chapter of Mein Kampf after his morning run; both of which he found to be rather strenuous, but equally enjoyable activities.  
It was as Steve was lost in his thoughts, his Bucky with the good hair walked into the kitchen quarters.  
"Hey Steve-o, seen the news?"  
Steve looked up thoughtfully at Bucky, his omelet had started to burn as quickly as box office sales, "No, why?"  
Bucky with the good hair floundered his way over to the TV. He black flipped over the sofa using his super strong big toe before propelling his body forward with his massive forehead. He then ended on a roly poly before turning on the TV.  
"Bucky," Steve inquired.  
"Yo wat up?" Bucky with the good hair had begun riffling though various channels, only half paying attention.  
"Couldn't you have just walked around the sofa?"   
At this point, the omelet Steve was so tenderly creating had turned into a black ooze; a sopping, mound of shit.  
Bucky flipped his L'Oreal hair over his shoulder and with a loud obnoxious laugh said, "I don't know Steve, lots of things are happening today which just don't make sense, I guess."  
Steve couldn't be bothered to find out what Bucky had meant so he just, like ignored him or something. He stared at his omelet. His omelet stared back. Steve decided to not eat this minging pile of oog and put it in the bin. It would make no sense in eating something which was now flavorless and not meant for consumption. Because what was Steve if he wasn't a balanced, rational individual. And also a Nazi.  
Bucky turned up the volume of the TV, flapping his metal arm to get Steve, the Christian boy born in Brooklyn (or was it Berlin? they sound awfully similar) and was noway affiliated with the German militarized nation, let alone their values' attention.  
"Not much has been confirmed at this moment in time. Officials have closed off the area but witness accounts have just told us a HYDRA base has been found in this rather unlikely state, and with the help of SHIELD investigators, so far 70 members of HYDRA have been arrested." The news reporter chatted excitedly.  
Steve has started to sweat, especially under his man boobs.   
"Whhhhaaaat! *Hail hydra*, i mean whhaaaat!" Steve said casually, coolly leaning against the counter top with his arms crossed, like super chill and shit and trying  
not to blow his Nazi ass over.   
Steve then started to panic so he pulled off his shirt. His sweaty man boob syndrome has taken a toll for the worse.   
"...What did you say Steve?" Bucky with the good hair looked slightly alarmed, but after turning around and seeing his *boy*friend with no shirt on, wearing  
the proud American colors on his pajama bottoms he was like, "Oh never mind."   
Because overlooking something detrimentally important and thinking it's a good idea, is obviously a good idea.  
"Hey Steve, shall I slam my head against this fucking wall for no idea?"  
"Sure Buck! While you do that, imma go take a giant shit in the fridge."


End file.
